Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest
SHOP SkinnyFit

90 DAY Money-Back Guarantee   |   Feel the love and enjoy 90 days to detox!

(888) 862 1758   |   FAQ   |   Help


Health & Wellness

Evidence Based

How To Use The 5 Love Languages To Love Yourself & Others

Written by Shelby Torrese

Learn about the 5 love languages, discover what your love language is, and find out how you can show your loved ones you care by speaking theirs!

Jump To top

Imagine being in a foreign country, not knowing a lick of the language, and trying to express all of your most basic needs to the people around you. To make matters worse, you aren’t even completely sure what your needs are at the moment! What the… To be honest, that sounds like the beginning of a horror film (or a really cheesy rom com) to me. Yet, so many of us unknowingly live in that strange, mute little world everyday! If you’re scrunching your brows, trying to figure out what this twisted world I’m painting is, welcome to your first lesson in love languages.

Love languages are the way we interact with the people around us. They’re how we show connection to our friends, to our family, even to our pets and our significant others. Love languages explain how we feel most loved and supported, and in turn, how we feel most empowered and called to love others. The teachings of these 5 love languages have saved every type of relationship, from marriages to trillion dollar teams, by simply helping people better understand and communicate their needs in both personal and professional relationships.

What Are The 5 Love Languages?

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a book that was written by Gary Chapman in 1992 explaining five different, main love languages that we all innately possess. The five “languages” he defines in his book are the acts of service love language, the quality time love language, the physical touch love language, the gift giving love language, and the words of affirmation love language. He defined them after studying thousands of people who were claiming to not feel loved, while their partner, friend or co-worker felt like they were doing everything they could to love them!

love languages

How Do The Love Languages Work?

Love languages help us get to the root of the way, or ways, in which we feel most loved. Some of us enjoy physical touch, whereas some of us may have no interest in that! It works the other way around, too. We may have a completely different love language for the way we show affection. I, for example, absolutely go crazy over gift-giving. I love to do it! But receiving gifts? Makes me anxious.

Keep in mind that love languages are meant to be fun! They are ways to bring you closer to your friends and family, and co-workers. It is simply a communication hack. They help us understand how we can best support the people around us, as well as better understand how we, ourselves, yearn to be supported! I’m going to break down each love language below, and give you insight as to what your love languages may be! Who knows, this may just be your marriage’s (or friendship’s!) saving grace! 

1. Acts Of Service Love Language

The acts of service love language is the sexy maid of love languages. Also known as the “actions speak louder than words” language. This love language is highlighted by simply being helpful.

2. Quality Time Love Language

The “we can just sit here and I’d be happy” love language. The quality time love language is uninterrupted, one-on-one time.

quality time love language

3. Physical Touch Love Language

The “I just need a hug” love language. Also known as, do not keep your hands to yourself! The physical touch love language is a non-verbal, very physical communication of love.

4. Gift Giving Love Language

The “Daddy Warbucks” of love languages, the gift giving love language is about giving, giving, giving! For occasions big or small, gifts are a must!

5. Words Of Affirmation Love Language

The “tell me I’m pretty” love language. The words of affirmation love language is highlighted best by encouragement, appreciation, and active listening.

Final Thoughts 

Use love languages to deepen a relationship, and never punish anyone for not knowing yours. Keep in mind that someone may be supporting you based on their own love language, rather than yours. When someone is showing love and affection, no matter how, try and practice gratitude. Even if you could care less about a home cooked meal, and all you wanted were the new ultra-trendy sneakers that just dropped in your size, give thanks.

When you do know your love language, don’t be afraid to share it! Tell your significant other, and/or your friends what you’ve learned by learning your love language, and encourage them to figure theirs out too. It will not only strengthen your bond, but also be a heck of a lot easier when holiday and birthday time comes around. So show up, share your findings, and spread the love!

love languages

About The Author

Shelby Torrese

Nutrition, Movement & Meditation Coach

Shelby Torrese is a wellness enthusiast (and matcha fanatic!) from Miami, FL. She attributes her love of movement to her mom, a personal trainer, and her love of food to her dad, a farmer. She studied creative writing in college while getting her yoga certification, and went on to pursue fitness and nutrition in grad school. Her go-to advice is, “Balance,” and she is a firm believer that the ocean can cure just about everything.

  • Yoga Alliance Registered Yoga Teacher
  • NASM Certified Nutrition Coach
  • M.S. in Human Performance


Related Articles